


you can take your time

by fallingmistinthedark



Series: Slipping [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF!Lance, Background Shalluratt w/ Established Shallura, Blade of marmora lance, Blue Misses Lance A Lot, F/M, Friends to Starngers to Friends to Space Ranger Partners, M/M, Matt is Actually Not An Asshole, Multi, Not Canon-Compliant past S2, Post Season 2, Secret Identities, Slow Burn, Space Mercenary!Lance, blue paladin matt, some elements from s3 and 4 but that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-05 13:32:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12190893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingmistinthedark/pseuds/fallingmistinthedark
Summary: you can choose your wordsLance is in a really big mess, thanks to the Alliance. After the Alliance places him back on his team after leaving it to protect them in the first place, Lance has successfully kept most of the team from knowing it's him. Keyword being most, because Matt knows now, and that's weird, but they're working through it. Hopefully, everything will work itself out.-:-He should know by now that things never do.





	you can take your time

**Author's Note:**

> School started for me on the 11th of September, and I finally got some time to write during my study halls. 
> 
> Also thank you for all the wonderful ideas in your fic Luna! I was having trouble deciding how to get everybody to find out, but your beautiful fic helped me out tons! Love you! 
> 
> You can read that beautiful fic here! [Keeping the secret](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12281655)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Title from : MYRNE - Confessions ft Cozi Zuehlsdorff

Somehow, the universe decided not to screw Lance over. It was incredible. Lance felt incredibly grateful that Matt was keeping his secret safe. He had expected the boy to out him in the meeting directly after he’d found out, but it had gone off without a hitch. Matt never let on that he knew anything about “Rayul” that the team didn’t which was awesome and well and good. Well, for now, seeing as Lance hadn’t known Pidge’s brother all that long, but if the team trusted Matt, if Blue trusted him, then he might as well trust Matt too. He had yet to tell Rolo and Nyma that Matt knew, but that was all just details. At least, until he called a meeting in his room for them all a few days later. 

You see, at this point, Rolo and Nyma had no idea anyone else knew, so they though it was just going to be the three of them. Now, a person walking in would usually be fine. Keyword there being usually, because he’d made them swear to keep his secret using whatever means necessary short of physically harming team Voltron to keep his secret. So, when he was taking off his mask and Matt seemed to just wander into the room, Rolo and Nyma didn’t react to well. Before he could say anything, Matt was on the floor out cold and Lance hadn’t even gotten his mask all the way off.

“Guys! That’s what the meeting was about! He knows!” Lance squawked, staring down at the now unconscious boy in front of him. He panicked in that moment, acutely aware that they had team training in an hour, and if past experience served him well enough, Matt would be out for at least two. This was a problem. Nyma looked stricken, since she was the one that had done it. 

“Uh, oh, oh my gosh. Gee, Lance, why didn’t you tell us? This is awkward,” Nyma admitted, shrinking in on herself with the thought that she had just done that for no actual reason. Nyma didn’t like doing that, Lance knew, but she did it as she thought was necessary. She much preferred being the con artist and using words instead of violence to get what she wanted. 

“Yeah, you could’ve warned us,” Rolo said, finally speaking up after the whole fiasco. Though, in retrospect, the whole thing hadn’t been more than two minutes. 

“I guess I could’ve but I didn’t think you guys would react like that,” Lance intoned, head in his hands as he sat back on the bed. He struggled to think up something that would get them out of this mess that hadn’t yet begun, but the team would expect Matt in an hour. “Alright, Nyma, anyway we can shorten the time he’s out?” 

“Really strong smells usually do the trick to get them awake,” Nyma replied, seemingly more interested in the metal floor than looking at him. Lance sighed, already knowing something that had a strong scent. Keith’s training shirt after a long day of it. Hopefully, though, they hadn’t changed laundry day since he’d been gone, or he’d be screwed. 

>

After a quick check through Keith’s room while the boy was gone (and no, Lance told himself, it wasn’t creepy to go through your crush’s stuff while they were gone and not knowing it’s you), he was screwed. Everything sat perfectly folded and clean in the boy’s drawer, and Lance wasn’t about to go ask Keith for the shirt he was probably currently training in… unless…

Lance strolled down the hall to the training deck with his mask back on, trying to look almost as calm as Shiro did when 75% of the time Lance was almost sure the poor guy was having anxiety eat at him. And he was definitely not thinking about how Keith looked shirtless. He’d seen it once, so he knew Keith took his shirt off sometimes after he got too hot during training. He was trying to steel himself for seeing that again, but it wasn’t exactly working. Arriving in front of the doors into the training room, Lance took a deep breath, and pushed the door open before he could regret every single life decision that led him here. Damn his freshman science teacher! She never told him going to the Garrison would get him involved in a 10,000 year war and becoming the pilot of a giant blue sentient space cat machine!

He felt Blue kinda growl at that in his mind. He bristled, it had been a while since Blue had reached out to him, but the little fond growl made him feel a lot calmer. It was a reminder that while she was still there for him, she respected that his presence here needed to be kept a secret. It was for this reason that he didn’t notice that both Shiro and Keith were there training, and both of their shirts were decidedly on. Lance groaned in his mind, but had to come up with something to say to the two who were now looking at him, expecting him to say something and Lance blurted out, “So I might have messed up the team training time. I’ll leave now,” because Keith’s hair was messed up in just the right way and his eyes were lowered as he tried to catch his breath and he was red and god why was he so perfect-

“Oh, okay. See you in an hour then,” Shiro called after him as he closed the door. Well fuck, how was he supposed to wake Matt up now? Thankfully, or maybe unfortunately, Coran was coming down the hallway towards Lance. If anybody could help him find something so smelly it could wake up someone that had been knocked out cold, it was Coran. 

“Uh Coran, sir, may I have a moment of your time?” Lance asked, hailing the cheerful man. 

“Of course, my boy! Whatever may I help you with?” Coran asked, coming closer. Lance winced at the phrase. Coran used to say it so many times with him. Coran had been the Altean he was closest to, and because of Coran, Lance could speak a fair amount of Altean. 

“I need something smelly… could you help me?” Lance asked, the words sounding so fucking weird to him out of context. The look on Coran’s face said he was thinking just that, but his words contradicted that. 

“Of course, but may I ask why you need it?” Coran asked, looking just slightly worried for Lance’s well-being. Of course, Lance’s brain decided this was a good time to short-circuit, and he blurted out, “It helps me focus! The sharpness of the scent, you know?” Coran frowned, but nodded and motioned for Lance to follow him. 

>

Half and hour later and one extremely nostalgic conversation with Coran about how this specific plant had shaped a certain period of Altean history, Lance was headed back to his room with Tralfinager plant’s root that honestly smelled like fermenting shit and piss. This was why it was in a container, because Lance had almost thrown up the first time he’d smelled it just fifteen minutes earlier. That had been the longest instant in Lance’s life. That smell seemed to slow time down to draw out your suffering. 

And apparently it also had hallucinogenic properties if you inhaled enough. Which was great. Apparently Altea was also the universe’s equivalent of Australia back in the day. Except there were slightly more trees. Just slightly. 

Moving on from Actual Space Australia™, Lance kept his mask on when got to his room, and before he opened the container to Matt’s nose he reached for his two extra masks and gave them to Rolo and Nyma. “You’re gonna need this,” Lance told them, and they hastily put them on as Lance lowered the container to Matt’s nose. They only had fifteen minutes now until the team training session, and Lance was not going to have a conversation with the team that might make them trust him less. This situation was not his fault and he was not taking the fall for this. Him or his team. 

As soon as Matt took another breath his eyes flew open and his forehead hit Lance’s hand just as the plant was properly sealed. Thank God because that sucker flew across the room like a bat out of hell. Lance did not want to have to sleep in his mask just because of his team’s mislead sense of loyalty. Matt was currently retching off to the side cursing Lance out in what sounded like garbled German, before switching to okayish Spanish and then to Italian. Lance laughed a little at how many languages Matt switched to before he started cursing Lance out in English. 

“What the fuck! No seriously, what the actual fuck?!” Matt screamed. In lieu of a response Lance offered Matt one of his masks. Immediately, Matt’s tense shoulders sagged in relief as he breathed the clean air. As soon as he didn’t feel his gag reflex threatening to throw up the food goo he’d no doubt had for breakfast, he turned to Lance, narrowed his eyes and whispered with all the venom he could muster, “Fuck you, man.”

“If it makes it any better at least you’re awake in time for the team training session!” Lance told him, offering a smile despite the fact that Matt couldn’t see it. Then, he went to pick up the storage cube the root was stored in. He really didn’t want that to shatter and fill his room with the smell of a Galran prison cell. He knew what they smelled like after so many prison breaks. It was horrible. 

“That is literally the least of my concerns right now,” Matt coughed out, no doubt still smelling the phantom smell of the root. “What the hell happened, anyways? One minute I was calmly walking into your room, looking as nonchalant as humanly possible to avoid getting jumped by Thing 1 and Thing 2, and all of a sudden I wake up to the smell of a corpse root. The fuck, man!” 

“Thing 1?” Rolo asked, looking to Nyma for an answer, who had said “Thing 2?” At the exact same time. They both shrugged at each other, before Nyma returned her gaze to anywhere but Lance and Matt. 

“Nyma kinda acted before I could tell them,” Lance said, opting for the truth. Matt scrunched his eyebrows up, getting that pinched look Pidge got whenever she smelled bullshit about. “In my defense,” Lance started before Matt could say anything, “you were early.” Matt opened his mouth again, seemed to rethink what he was going to say, got the look Pidge did when she admitted defeat, and took a step back. 

“Actually, that’s fair. Sorry for barging in on you all,” Matt said, nodding his head. Lance smiled, before taking his mask off again. Thankfully, the air had been replaced in the five or so minutes since the container had been opened and no trace of the hellish smell lingered in the room. Only in their memories. Thankfully only there. 

“I should be sorry,” Nyma replied, removing her mask. Rolo handed her his, who handed them to Lance. Lance stashed them under his bed. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that, Blue Paladin.” 

Matt shook his head, “I’ma stop you right there,” he started, “call me Matt, and I would have done the same thing, maybe less forcefully, but I’d have done my job of keeping him a secret.” Rolo nodded, placing a hand on Nyma’s shoulder. I couldn’t quite figure out what they were, really, extremely close friends, or together. They never talked about it and it wasn’t like I was going to ask them. 

“Okay, Matt,” Nyma said, gathering the courage to look up at him, smiling a little. “I’m Nyma. I hope you’re useful keeping Lance’s identity a secret.”

><

Hunk had just meant to come collect them for team training, since Matt nor Rayul was there, and Coran was missing two control room helpers. He found this strange, but he, for all intents and purposes, trusted the new arrivals to the team. So he hadn’t been worried, keyword, hadn’t been. 

Not until he’d checked La- Matt’s room, and it was empty. Matt was usually inside tending to his plants and recording their progress. That was weird. Matt never usually did anything that involved moving around the castle. He’d been getting used to living here, as he’d put it, and didn’t want to get lost. So, he moved on to Rayul’s room. And that’s where he heard them. All of them. Nyma’s was the first voice he heard.  
“I sh-ldn’t have reac-d li-k tha-,” Hunk heard, and the room seemed quiet again, before he heard Matt’s voice, “I wou-d h-v don- sam- thin-…. my jo- - keeping hi- a secr-t.” Hunk’s blood ran cold. Keeping who a secret? Who were they talking about? Why were they all in Rayul’s- then it dawned on him. They were keeping Rayul’s true identity a secret. But why? 

“I h-p you-‘r- usef-l in keep-g ----- identi-y a sec-t,” Nyma’s voice, and then everything went quiet save for rustling, which meant, as far as he knew, that they were getting ready to leave. Which meant it was time for him to run as fast and as far as he could quietly. 

He managed to get back to the team, and in a rush, ignoring their confused expressions, he blurted out, “Matt, Rolo, and Nyma are all working together to keep Rayul’s ‘true’ identity a secret and I don’t know why!”

Pidge was the first to respond, not even blinking an eye. “Matt would never betray us. I’ve spent countless hours with him and I trust him 100%. If Matt is working with them, it just means that maybe this guy’s wanted in Galra territory for treason, and doesn’t want word to get out about it.” Shiro nodded, wisely remaining quiet, but looked as though he was in agreement with Pidge. 

“But what if he’s a double agent?” Allura murmured, casting her gaze over to Coran’s. He was nodding back at her, confirming it was a possibility. “The Alliance does not have the resources to vet all of their agents as thoroughly as I would like.” Pidge huffed, waving her hand at the both of them. 

“The guy saved Keith’s life! He would have left Keith to die if he really was a double agent. He didn’t have to go find Mr.Hothead here. He’s not a bad guy, obviously,” Pidge reminded them all, going back to decoding the documents they had recently acquired from the prison complex they had just took apart. Keith frowned at her, looking none to pleased with the notion that their newest edition, who could fight like a Greek war god, was a Galran agent. Hunk didn’t know if any of them could actually beat the guy in hand-to-hand, or ranged, for that matter. 

“But he has also been incredibly secretive, have any of you even seen his face? For all we know he could be one of Lotor’s generals,” Shiro finally says, and Pidge whips her head around to stare straight at him. 

“Are you actually serious right now? Shiro, what the fuck!” Pidge exclaims, having fully stopped sorting through documents. She is clearly frustrated with everybody, and she’s not putting up with any of their doubts. “You really think my brother would work with fucking Lotor? Fuck you,” Pidge seethed, taking several steps closer to the bigger man. Shiro actually took a step back, attesting to how pissed Pidge was. 

“Pidge, calm down, I don’t want to think so either but as this team’s leader I had to offer where my mind was going. I trust Matt just as much as you but we’ve all gotta a keep a level head about this,” Shiro said, hands up in front of him a futile attempt to placate Pidge. 

However, just as she was about to retaliate, a new voice spoke up that scared the living daylights out of Hunk, “Keep a level head about what? Bag of dicks up to something again?” They all looked up, startled, only to find Rayul and Matt coming closer from the door, both dressed in their training clothes. Rayul’s mask looked disconcerting to him now after everything that had just happened. What could be behind that mask? So help him, he was going to find out, if only to protect his team.

><

“… but we’ve all gotta keep a level head about this,” Lance heard Shiro say. Lance wondered what the others were talking about. Hunk looked winded, like he’d just done suicides (Allura made them do that sometimes) and Pidge looked pissed beyond belief.

“Keep a level head about what? Bag of dicks up to something again?” Matt asked, nonchalant, but, by the way he moved his hands, he looked nervous. It looked as if they’d all seen a ghost as they jumped at Matt’s voice. Keith looked eerily tense, his eyes snapped up to Lance’s. Somehow, Keith was always locking eyes with him, even though he knew the boy didn’t know where his eyes were. 

“Nothing, we were just talking about how best to incorporate you into our missions,” Shiro said, shrugging. Lance raised a single eyebrow, knowing that even though the team couldn’t see it, it was his silent way of calling bullshit. Shiro never shrugged, unless he was lying. 

“Okay,” Lance said carefully, in Rayul’s low grumble of a voice. It was eerily similar to Kolivan’s, but had a somewhat more youthful tone to it. He looked over at Matt, who was looking back over at him in turn. Matt knew Shiro better than he did, so Shiro was definitely lying about something. The problem was figuring out what the something was. What had they been talking about before they'd walked in?

“Alright, team, let’s start our team training! What level should we start on?” Shiro asked, slapping a fake grin on his face. Pidge was still seething as she activated her bayard. She leveled a glare at Shiro, then up to the control room, then at Hunk. It wasn’t like her to glare at Hunk. What subject matter could make them act like this?

“How about 15? I think that’s a good warm-up,” Lance said, and Shiro nodded at the suggestion, giving a thumbs up to Coran, Nyma, and Rolo in the control room as everyone activated their bayards. Lance took out his training pistols to start with, getting into group formation in between a shaking Hunk and Pidge, who he could practically feel the anger radiating off from. The first droid appeared, and Lance let those worries fade away, at least for a little while. 

“Level 30 starting now,” Coran’s voice announced as they finished up their break. This was the next level the paladins had not yet been able to beat. Lance was sure that with his new found help, filling in wherever the others couldn’t, they could do it. The first droid spawned and immediately it was a problem. It went directly for Hunk, whose big gun couldn’t move quite fast enough to take aim at it. 

“Break formation!” Shiro ordered, and they all broke out of the back to back circle formation they’d been in for most of the fifteen levels they’d been working their way through since the start. Lance ducked and rolled, fitting his pistols back onto his pants and pulling out his daggers, bringing them up in just enough time to block the droid’s swing, but also not enough time to adjust his hold. The power behind the swing reverberated through his wrists, and because of that, the droid was almost able to knock him out of the way. Almost. “H- Yellow Paladin! My right, your left!” Lance called, almost slipping up with the name in the heat of battle. Hunk nodded, a sharp jerk of his chin. “3, 2,… 1, Go!” Lance instructed. Hunk rolled to the left, and Lance rolled to right. The sudden loss of something holding it back tipped it over, and Lance took advantage of that. With a quick flick of his wrist, a dagger was embedded into the helm of the droid. It flickered twice, then vanished. 

Lance looked up, seeing that Shiro, Pidge, Matt, and Keith were working on the other one. This one was even tougher, by the looks of it. It wasn’t just wildly and blindly swinging, it was making calculated moves. When one lost their balance or their grip fell a little slack on their weapons; that’s when the gladiator struck. It was Matt this time, but Keith blocked it just in time. Lance sees his opportunity, so he takes it. Until he sees Pidge moving behind the thing. If he continues on, he risks hitting and/or stabbing Pidge. Unfortunately for him, however, the droid has seen his hesitation, and, after zero moments of thought, moves towards him. Also unfortunately for him, it takes more then zero moments for a human to think and/or do anything. 

Which is probably how Lance feels like someone’s run him over with bus when he opens his eyes again. He didn’t even remember closing his eyes, so he can immediately infer he passed out, or was hit so hard he was knocked unconscious. At least he can still feel his mask on. Someone has him propped against them, because he’s not flat on the ground and he can feel something solid at his back. 

“You awake?” Matt asks somewhere next to his ear. _Ah,_ Lance thinks, _that’s who’s holding me up_. Lance nods, not really feeling like talking. He’ll have a nasty bruise across his ribcage, but thank God nothing’s broken. The view of his mask holds the results of the diagnostic his suit did after the impact hit it, and his ribs are not broken. However, that doesn’t mean he won’t suffer. “Great, because Coran wants to run a diagnostic on you,” Matt said, making him freeze up from where he’d been trying to shift himself to a sitting position. 

He looked up, finding Coran smiling and holding the small diagnostic machine right in front of his. He winced, forcing himself into the proper sitting position. “There’s no need, Mr.Smythe. My suit runs its own diagnostics after each hit. It says there is nothing to worry about,” Lance tells them, hoping they’ll just believe him on this. No such luck, he thinks to himself as Coran shakes his head. 

“I’m sorry, my boy, but correct if I’m wrong, I don’t think your suit can run scans for concussions. You hit the ground pretty hard back there,” Coran, tells him, and so he sighs, nods, but holds up his hand, if a bit awkwardly, to tell him to wait. 

“Could we do this in the med bay? I do not like it when others who do not need to see can see my body, even if it is through a scan,” Lance says, trying so hard to push every bit of sincerity into the words. “My parents had always taught about the modesty of the body,” Lance starts, but thankfully Coran nods and motions for Lance to follow him. Pidge, Matt, and Keith stare after him, Matt with a worried expression, knowing what will happen, Pidge with a semi-curious head-tilt as she thinks up questions to ask him, and Keith with a stare that Lance now knows isn’t malice, just Keith focusing really hard on something. Having that gaze on him does things to his heart, but he won’t let it distract him from what’s about to happen. 

When the castle first scans you, your exact anatomy goes into the database, the same database present on that scanner. So, once the scan is complete, it will identify him as Lance, and the charade would’ve been over. Except now, he can at least keep it to just Coran and Matt. Hopefully just Coran and Matt. It feels like failing the more people he has to tell, or just let them find out. He’s a coward, he knows, for not telling Coran as they walk, slowly but surely to the medbay because while his ribs may not be broken, they’re sure hurting like they are. 

“Is there a particular reason you lied back there?” Coran asks once they’re far enough away from the training room to not be heard. Lance shivers involuntarily at the man’s tone. He’s never heard one so cold and calculated come from the man. He really should have expected it. All of them were acting funny when they came in, and Hunk looked like he had been running a marathon and was still catching his breath when they had gotten there. There was a reason the Galra Empire told stories of the Spymaster like humans told stories of the Boogeyman. Coran was not a person to be underestimated or ignored. 

“You’ll see,” Lance said simply, electing to ignore the cold stare Coran sent him. However, Coran did not say anymore until they were inside the medbay, and he instructed Lance to sit down. Just to show Lance made no threat, he took every single weapon he had off of him and put it on the table by the door. Coran watched all of this happen with the same cold stare, giving nothing away, and now Lance wasn’t sure he’d made the right move. 

“So you lied because you knew I’d find out anyways?” Coran asked, voice a monotonous hum as he turned the device that would seal Lance’s fate on. When Lance nodded he looked up at him, a question in his eyes. “That doesn’t make much sense, my boy.”

“I’m aware.” Lance answered, the words sounding too forced. He winced as Coran regarded him, knowing that the older man probably wouldn’t take too well to how he’d hidden his identity. He just didn’t want his team to get hurt, was all. And Matt was a better Paladin than him, after all. He didn’t want to take that spot back on the team; he would just be a burden again. Blue rumbled in his mind, displeased with how he viewed himself. He gasped at the touch of her mind onto his. He almost burst out into tears right then and there. He was afraid she wouldn't be there for him when she hadn’t contacted him much since he’d been there. She sent waves of reassurance to him, assuring him yet again that she just respected his need for secrecy. Her quintessence flowing into him on a regular basis would be a dead giveaway to Allura, and possibly Coran as well. 

“If you’re aware why would you do it?” Coran asked, continuing to speak before Lance could offer the only answer he knew to that question, I don’t want them to find out. “If you tell me what and who you are right now, I’ll trust that you don’t mean any harm to my princess and her paladins.”

“I can’t,” Lance mumbled out, feeling with such incredible clarity that he had failed. Failed to protect those he cared about (and in Keith’s case those he loved), failed to be a good person, failed to be competent and failed to be a person they could trust without knowing who he was. Coran regarded him with another cold stare as he readied the device, tapping on it to bring up the specific program he required at the time. Lance stared at it much the same way he had his brother’s bicycle when they’d both been learning how to ride one. Lance had seen him losing control of the bike since the end of the street, but hadn’t moved, just regarded the bike with a little stare like _this is how you’re gonna do me?_ Much like now, he’d just accepted what would happen, and didn’t try to avoid it. 

Except now, someone intervened. The door slid open with a cold hiss, and Pidge stepped in, cradling her hand. Coran’s attention immediately snapped over to her, and Lance let out the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Blue’s presence washed over his conscious, filling him with some clarity and calm he probably desperately needed. After he had calmed, watching Coran scan Pidge and her name come up on the tablet’s screen, he had accepted it again, until Blue sent him an image of Pidge leaning against Green as she worked, and the feeling that somehow, Pidge knew something. 

That, however, didn’t make sense. Matt had been a rebel officer, so he knew what, when, and how to keep something secret. Lance trusted that Matt hadn’t told her anything or let anything slip, despite his calm and easy demeanor. Lance had seen how Matt wasn’t like that all the time. In a way, Matt was wearing a mask just like Lance, trying his best to get through everyday without breaking down. And nobody else knew, so it was impossible for her to know, despite Blue’s continued insistence that she did, in fact, know something.

Lance shook it off, trying to focus on how he would deal with however Coran reacted. He really didn’t know what to do if Coran reacted poorly, but he knew he probably should. It was a valid reaction, after all, with everything he’d done. The thought of that made him flinch. He had been a pretty horrible person to them right before he left, since he’d been drowning in all his self-blame and guilt. 

Once Coran had finished with Pidge, who, in fact, did need a brace (she had sprained her wrist), she left with a quick glance behind her at Lance. Coran watched her go, and didn’t dare move until they were both sure she hadn’t stayed to listen in. 

“So are you going to tell me now, my boy? Or are you going to hold out until I already know?” Coran asks, readying the device in his hands for another, new scan. 

“I don’t think I can do that,” Lance said earnestly, already feeling sick to his stomach, knowing what was coming didn’t exactly make him feel calm like all those self-help books he’d read once had said. It just made him feel worse. 

“All of us make our decisions, my boy, but that doesn’t define us” Coran said, almost startling Lance with how much it sounded like what the man had to said to him the day he’d left. Nobody had known what Lance was planning at the time, and he’d just been trying to cheer Lance up, but the words had lit a fire in him. He wouldn’t be here today, a Blade or a mercenary working against the Galra Empire if the man hadn’t said those words.

Lance held his breath as Coran held the device up to him, knowing that whatever came after this, he fully deserved. 

“Well you were right about not having broken anything-,” Coran started, probably receiving the wound report first, and when he stopped must have been when Lance’s name appeared on the screen. “La- what?” Coran asked, nearly dropping the device in his shock. 

Lance gently takes the device from the man’s grip and puts it on the table next to the station they’re at, and then he turns off his voice changer. “It told you I was Lance, right?” He asked, his actual voice sounding almost alien to him now. But not to Coran, who seemed to start blinking back tears. 

“Yes, my boy. Is it really you?” Coran asked, hesitantly reaching out to Lance. Lance smiled underneath his mask. He hadn’t been expecting such an emotional response. Maybe a hug, yeah, but not the reverent disbelief the man held in that moment. 

“Yes, it is, but I can’t let the others know. I won’t get them hurt again because of me. I was a burden when I was here,” Lance said, feeling how hard that was to say in his vocal chords. He turned his head to look at the door as Coran processed that. It just occurred to him that it was still unlocked, and anyone could come in at any time. Turning his voice changer off had been a big step for him, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t take his mask off to show Coran it was really him until the door was locked. 

“They wouldn’t- I don’t think that way, my boy. Everyday I was able to talk to you about my home and my family made me a little less sad. You helped me grieve them, my boy, and… you took care of everyone of us through everything. No one ever thought of you as a burden,” Coran explained, moving to sit next to him. Lance’s shoulders started shaking with the tears he’d refused to shed since he’d been gone. 

“I knew that, I did,” Lance started through the tears, though it sounded more like a string of noises. “But I couldn’t handle knowing that I was the reason they were getting hurt. Because of me, some nobody from Earth that should’ve never been a paladin,” Lance said, crying into Coran’s shoulder now. Coran’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him close and anchoring him into the now, instead of the past that threatened to envelope him with all the uncertainty and sadness and anger. 

“You are a good person, Lance. You feel so deeply for others, and I feel that is one of the reasons Blue picked you. Blaytz, the former Blue Paladin, was also like that. He felt so much for others, and was almost one of the first to fall to Zarkon in the beginning because of that. The only thing that held him back was Alfor,” Coran explained, voice even, warm, and soothing. Coran rarely talked about the former paladins when he could avoid it, and only answered a direct question about them if Lance chose to ask, but he almost never did because when he did, Coran’s eyes filled with sadness and a slow anger. 

“He was?” Lance asked, sniffing the tears away and trying so hard to calm down. Coran nodded. Lance was awed at the strength it took Coran to do this, talk about the first generation of paladins, who he had been so close to. 

“Yes. Blaytz always had a smile for everybody. I think the only time I didn’t see him smile was the day he and Alfor came back to tell us Zarkon had turned against us,” Coran said. Lance decided he was calm enough to look up, and Coran’s mouth was a grim line as he remembered it. “Allura was just a small thing when that day happened. We had hoped we would have more time until he struck, but he only gave us enough time to ready his side.”

“Zarkon didn’t go after Altea immediately? Why?” Lance asked, tilting his head, tears almost forgotten. He hadn’t known they’d had years to prepare. From the descriptions of it, Lance had thought Altea had been attacked immediately. But they’d had years? Why did Altea still fall?

“We thought it was because he never wanted to contact us again, but when he started attacking the paladins’ home planets, we knew he would come for us last. What we didn’t expect was how quickly he had their homes in his hands, and how quickly he was at Altea,” Coran said, mouth becoming an almost frown as his eyes saw something Lance couldn’t hope to ever see in his life. He never wanted to see his home planet destroyed. He shuddered at the very thought. 

The motion made Coran turn back to him, a smile appearing on his face despite the grief he was very obviously feeling by the look in his eyes. His smile wasn’t quite big enough to be real smile, but it was a smile all the same, and Lance appreciated it. 

They sat in silence for a while after that, Coran relieved to have Lance back and Lance relieved that Coran knew. In retrospect, he should’ve known it was impossible to keep his identity a secret from the medic of the team. Though, he would have to tell Nyma and Rolo that the man knew, so that they didn’t do the same thing to Coran that they’d done to Matt. 

That lasted until a knock on the door startled them. Lance fumbled to switch his voice changer on, and Coran briskly got up and headed for the door. Outside, Nyma, Rolo, and Matt stood, struggling (well, in Matt’s case, Rolo and Nyma had no trouble seeing him) to see Lance from over Coran’s shoulder. 

“Why are you three here?” Coran asked, gazing at the three with something skin to disdain and confusion. 

“We’re here to see Rayul,” Rolo said, calmly, while Nyma looked ready to punch the man. Lance sighed, and spoke up.

“They know. Lock the door after you come in so we can talk,” Lance said. Coran looked back with a surprising amount of confusion as he moved aside to let them in. Once they were all in, he locked the door, and went to sit at the other exam table. Matt had sat beside Lance, and Rolo and Nyma stood protectively behind Lance, as he paid them to. 

“Matt knows?” Was the first thing Coran asked. He had probably already guessed Nyma and Rolo knew, but Matt had probably been unexpected. Lance had also not expected that Matt was going to know so soon. 

“Uh, yeah. He kinda just waltzed in while I was talking with Red after we brought Keith back in,” Lance explained after he’d took his mask off. This earned him a mock-punch to the arm from Matt. 

“I was there to take you to the meeting. I didn’t expect to find out that Rayul was the Lance McClain, sharpshooter and Blue Paladin extraordinaire,” Matt explained, throwing his hands up in a dramatic manner. Lance laughed at that, shaking his head. 

“You give me too much credit,” Lance said, waving it off. Matt shrugged at the motion. 

“Whatever man, but you’re amazing. Give yourself a little more credit. I mean, you just took the droid’s hit earlier. I mean, yeah, you passed out, but that was mostly because you hit the wall on the other side of the room at like, top speed. Like Jesus, if you’d had more time to react, you probably could’ve backflipped or some shit and landed a superhero landing,” Matt said, rambling on. Lance sighed, and tried to move the conversation back to what they were supposed to be talking about. 

“So just remember guys, that all of you know. I don’t want a repeat of earlier today,” Lance said, turning to pointedly look at Nyma. Nyma bristled at the look but she shrugged, as if to say fair enough.  
“What happened this morning?” Coran asked. 

“That’s a long story,” Lance responded. 

>

All in all, the story probably took the better part of an hour to get through, since Coran kept periodically asking questions about how Lance was keeping everything a secret, about his gear, about who trained him, and about his weaponry. Once it was all answered, and he’d finally gotten to the part where Matt got knocked the fuck out, Coran’s mouth went in a “o” and he exclaimed, “That’s what you needed the Tralfinager root for! I thought you were a bit strange when you initially asked, my boy.”

“Thanks,” Lance responded sarcastically, and Coran laughed. 

“It’s okay, my boy. We’ve all had days where we needed Tralfinager root to revive an unconscious friend. Twas’ its primary use back in Altea,” Coran said, though from the look on his face, Lance could tell that was probably not true, and he was just trying to make everyone feel better about what happened. 

“Did they though?” Matt asked, unaccustomed to Coran’s sense of humor. 

“I’m afraid not, though it is funny that that’s what you four used it for,” Coran responded, a wide smile on his face as he twirled his mustache thoughtfully. 

“Wait, don’t we have dinner now?” Lance asked, looking at the Altean clock behind Coran. Coran turned, and to everyone’s surprise, it was. 

“We should go one by one. Best to avoid suspicion that way,” Matt said, and with that, was out the door. Lance kinda just stared after Matt. It was easy to realize why he’d left so early. He’d barely been given anything to eat with the Galra, and when he had it’d been bland and probably spoiled, and with the Rebels he’d eaten military rations, and those were dull as all get out. Most of the time. On special occasions, they got the rare fruit or vegetable or even seasoning. So, it was understandable to Lance that Matt wanted to eat Hunk’s food as soon as possible. 

“Let’s have Rolo and Nyma go next,” Lance said, and they nodded. They left a few minutes after Matt. Coran was looking back at him when he turned his gaze back from the door. There were definitely tears in his eyes now. “Oh no, Coran don’t cry! What did I do? What do I have to apologize fo-?” Lance stopped mid-sentence as Coran began to laugh, a full laugh, head thrown back and smile wide on his face. “What?”

“I’m sorry, my boy. It’s just so nice to see you being you and laughing with your new friends. I will keep your promise, my boy, so long as it doesn’t interfere with Voltron, and until it becomes necessary that Allura absolutely needs to know who you are,” Coran promised. Lance felt himself begin to tear up at the man’s words. That was more than he’d expected of the man. 

“That’s all I can ask of you, Coran. Thank you.” Lance whispered as he got up to go, mask in hand. Coran smiled, and opened his arms. Lance gladly entered the hug. Coran quickly let go, so that Lance could get back to leaving. Lance fitted his mask back on and flipped on the voice changer as Coran went to pick up the device that still held his record. 

“I’ll just delete this and be on my way, my boy. Go on,” Coran instructed, shooing Lance out. Lance flashed some thumbs up to Coran, and left the room. 

Just down the hallway from the medbay, however, Keith was, leaning against the wall, as if waiting for someone. 

“Red Paladin,” Lance greeted, almost jumping at the sound of his Rayul voice. “If you are waiting for the Royal Advisor he will be out momentarily.” Keith shook his head, bangs swaying as he did. Lance gulped as the desire to pet his hair came over him. That would just look straight up weird and creepy coming from Rayul. 

“No, I was waiting for you, Rayul,” Keith said, pushing off the wall and falling into step next to him. “I just wanted to ask you about being half-Galra.” The words made him freeze. Of course that’s what everyone else thought, since he was so small. Oh jeez, he thought. He didn’t know anything about being half-Galra, since he was, you know, human. 

“I don’t really know what to say, Red Paladin. My experience is different because I have different parentage than you. And also I am a full Galra, however, I have a gene that makes me shorter than my Galra peers. In the Blade, we call it the scout gene, since the smaller size allows for easier hiding, being faster, and being able to escape more situations,” Lance said, saying the first thing that came to mind. Thank God he’d decided to read Attack on Titan when his brother recommended it. He’d bullshitted that excuse straight from a later part of the manga. 

“Oh,” was all Keith said after a moment of tense silence as they continued walking. They had almost made it to the door to the dining room when Keith piped up again. “Oh, Kolivan is here. Just a heads up.” Lance froze as Keith continued on. If Kolivan was here, that could only mean one of two things. He was here to give Lance a solo mission or he was here to check up on his progress bonding with the team. 

Keith poked his head back out after Lance didn’t follow him in. Keith tilted his head ever so slightly in confusion (oh shit that’s really cute wait, please no) and asked, “Aren’t you coming in?”

Lance sighed, and went in, not surprised to find Kolivan sitting to Allura’s right. The other seat was empty, waiting for Coran to fill it. Lance took his seat next to Coran’s and Nyma’s, across from Matt. Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, and Matt were already eating, and Keith sat down beside Shiro.

“Rayul,” Kolivan acknowledged as Lance sat down. “It’s nice of you to join us.” Lance nodded as he watched Keith pick up his space spoon thing. It wasn’t quite a spork, but it wasn’t really anything else either. 

“My apologies, Kolivan, sir. What brings you here today?” Lance grit out, not looking forward to going on a solo mission anytime soon. 

“The alliance and I have a mission for you,” Kolivan starts. Lance nods, watching Keith take a bite of his food as his commander explains it. Coran walks in as Kolivan is saying this, shooting Lance a worried glance as he sits down next to him. 

“What difficulty level?” Lance asks, not surprised in the slightest when Kolivan says, “A Level,” which shocks the rest of the table. It really shouldn’t, with how good he’s gotten. Coran’s eyes shine with something akin to pride though, so there’s that, Lance thinks. “You will be guarding a scientific envoy of our best scientists to Daibazaal and back.”

Allura and Coran gasp, eyes turned to each other as if on instinct. They have good reason to. They thought Daibazaal had been destroyed. It had been ruined as a planet, but it still existed as a corpse, drifting through space with the whims of gravity. “Forgive me for asking, Commander, but why Daibazaal?” Allura asked, fingers turning white with how hard she was gripping her spork. 

“An interdimensional rift still exists there. The scientists hope to close the rift and send whatever came out of it back in,” Kolivan explained, immediately unnerving the others. Lance wasn't surprised and only knew about this because it had been in his briefing when he’d been officially inducted into the Blade despite not being a Galra. 

“And what exactly came out of that rift?” Pidge asked, fixing her glasses. They were really Matt’s, but Matt said he was fine and that she could keep them, because the Garrison had fixed his eyesight.

Kolivan stopped eating and placed his hands on the table. Lance knew that really wasn't necessary, but with how much Lance knew about the thing that came out of the rift, it was probably best that Kolivan emphasize how serious the situation really was.

“Ouroboros.”


End file.
